Turnabout is Fair Play
by obsidians
Summary: Kuno wonders why Ranma is acting odd when their positions are reverse. No lemons, just a cute and somewhat funny one shot with a twist at the end.


Kuno found himself standing before Ranma in a defensive stance, the positions of the two sworn enemies were not abnormal by any means, but Kuno couldn't for the life of him remember how he'd gotten there. He was even more shocked when Ranma smoothed his hair and smirked at him. "That's it you cur, I, Ramna Saotome, mighty scion of the noble clan of Saotome and the War Hammer of Furinkan High School shall smite thee and force you to give up my love, you vile sorcerer and oppressor of women" he said in a confident, silky voice that sounded so unlike his normal way of talking.

"Ranma are you feeling okay? Er, which love am I supposed to be oppressing, Ukyou, Shampoo, my sister, Akane or…..?" Kuno found himself asking.

"Silence wretch, you shall not sully the names of my two loves with your base tongue" he thundered. "En gard sir, prepare to defend yourself" he said and charged.

They fought hard and then something strange happened, it began to rain, it was a positive deluge of cold water that lasted but a second and this gave pause to their quarrel as both were soaked and suddenly Kuno found himself staring up a Ranma, which was odd as Ranma was normally several centimeters shorter then Kuno. Then he noticed that there were other things odd about his person and looked down to find that he'd spouted two large sized breasts from his normally well-developed male chest. As his robe was gapping open as it customarily was, they jutted out from his suddenly smaller frame, visible almost to his nipples. "What the hell is going on?" he asked in a panicked voice and felt a wave of terror when it came out in a high, feminine voice and not his usual deep tone.

He gasped when strong arms came around him and he looked up to see Ranma's face transform into a combination of love and lust. "It's my short haired goddess, did you manage to slip your bond to come seek my embrace? You are so brave my fiery tigress! Come you shall date with me and we shall consummate our new relationship while the angels of heaven weep for joy" he cried and pulled a bouquet of red roses seemingly out of his ass and offered them to her.

"What do you mean, I don't even like you. Release me at once" Kuno cried as she tried to push the amorously panting octopus-like boy away from her.

"Yes that's it, pretend to protect your maidenly virtue while your body demands that I conquer you, what a tease you are my goddess of perfection." Kuno gulped when something that didn't appear to be a finger, poked her in the belly.

"Let me go this instant" she said and slapped him, that was when hot water cascaded over her head.

"What's this?" Ranma cried looking at the taller male in his arms and shoved him away. "Kuno what have you done with my short haired goddess? Where have you hidden her? Does she even now weep in chains in some dark dungeon? I swear that some day you won't be able to keep us apart" he said advancing on the other boy while a very confused Kuno backed away from him.

"Relax Ranma-Baby, she ran that way mumbling something about needing a wedding kimono" Nabiki said as she put down the bucket that she'd just thrown over Kuno.

"She longs for marriage, what joy, what bliss. I suppose it's improper for a bride groom to see his intended in her wedding attire, but I simply must find her" Ranma cried and then looked back at Kuno said, " be warned, we shall continue this another time, knave"

"O-okay" he stammered, wondering what had gotten into him. "What the hell is going on?" he asked Nabiki.

"First of all that'll be five thousand yen for the hot water, pay up" she demanded, holding out her hand.

Kuno was confused as to why he was paying for something as simple as water, but Nabiki seemed to know what was going on and he needed to have someone explain things to him, so he paid her. "Pleasure doing business with you" she said counting out the notes. "It seems that Ranma-Baby's even more brain dead than usual. You'd think he would have figured out about your curse by now, especially when you just transformed in his arms" she said with a laugh.

"What curse?" Kuno demanded.

"You know the jusenkyo curse where you become a woman when doused with cold water and regaining your regular form with hot. You okay Tatewaki, did Ranma hit you on the head?" she asked him.

"Wait what did you call me?" he asked her, not believing she called him anything but the dreaded Kuno-Baby.

"Tatewaki, that's your name, what else what I call you?" she said with a dismissive shrug.

He thought about this and then about what she's said about his supposed curse, "jusenkyo, that does sound oddly familiar, wait isn't that kind of like what happens to Mousse, Shampoo and Ryoga?" Kuno said finally cluing in.

"Yes of course, they ended up in the cursed springs of drowned duck, cat and pig and you fell into the spring of the drowned young girl" Nabiki slowly explained, as if to a particularly stupid three year old.

"Oh" was all that Kuno could say.

"Want me to take you to the nurse's office?" Nabiki said, wondering what was going on with her friend.

"No I'm fine, I think I'll just go home for the rest of the day and lie down" Kuno said, trying to wrap his head around the concept.

He let himself into his mansion and headed straight for hi s bathroom, bringing a cup with him. Turning on the cold-water tap, with trembling hands he filled it and then poured the water over himself. He gasped when he was suddenly centimeters shorter and….a girl. His already loose clothes sagged on her smaller frame and Kuno first recoiled from his/her image and then forced himself to study it. Her hair was the same length as his male form but noticeably more wavy and her features softer and more feminine and eerily similar to his sister's face. She was beautiful with her lips fuller and her eyes larger and a brighter blue, but still almond in shape. She gasped in shock through her pretty pink lips and with trembling hands, undid her clothes and let them fall

from her.

Stepping into her bedroom, she removed her boxer shorts and stood completely naked in front of the full-length mirror. She was petite, but curvy with long legs, full hips, a tiny waist and large breasts with pink nipple topped breasts. The sleek looking triangle of hair at the apex of her sex was longer, slightly darker than that on her head and looked soft to the touch. Turning around, she looked over her shoulder to examine the slim smooth line of her back that molded into pert and rounded buttocks of her high rear end. She turned around again and gently caressed her breasts to see if they were real and lightly pinched her nipples, gasping at how oddly pleasurable it felt. A trembling hand slid down her flat stomach to slip between her vaginal lips and a single finger entered her depths. She shivered at the alien feeling of it, her eyes going wide in shock to find that she was a woman in every sense of the word. Growing bolder, she ran her finger along the length of her slit until she brushed against something that caused her to jump at the sensation and then rubbed it experimentally again and blushed at the pleasurable feeling of this. "What's going on?" she asked her mirror.

"My goddess, are you so eager to have me that you have resorted to touching yourself in my absence?" a voice purred from her window.

She covered herself with her arms and turned to find Ranma hanging upside down outside her window. "What do you think you're doing?" she cried. He executed a perfect back flip and landed on the floor with barely a sound.

"I sought you at every bridal shop with disappointing results, so I thought to come to your home to find you preparing yourself for our wedding night. I am a firm believer that the hymen must be respected and taken only in the bonds of holy matrimony, but will not keep you waiting" he replied, smoothing his hair again in a gesture oddly familiar and smirked at her.

"Get out of here, Ranma it's me Kuno" she said retreating from him.

"Mention not the name of thy enemy, that which we call a rose  
>by any other name would smell as sweet" he replied, lunging at her.<p>

"No leave now" she cried, running so that the bed was between them.

"Come into my arms sweet perfection, I will make you my woman in every sense of the word" Ranma cried, back flipping over the bed and capturing the naked teen in his arms. She pushed against him, but it was trying to move a rock.

"Ranma, stop it. It's me Tatewaki Kuno!" she cried while she trembled and pushed against him. Her heart was racing and she was seconds away from panicking.

"Say not the name of that blackguard, soon it shall be my name that you scream forever more" he cried, easing her onto the bed.

"Leave me alone!" she cried as he examined her pinned form.

"Love sought is good, but given unsought, is better" he intoned and then he pounced while she screamed.

Tatewaki sat up in bed with a shout and hurriedly examined his obviously male body and heaved a sigh of relief that it had all been a horrible dream. He wondered what it meant, as there had been something somewhat familiar about the whole thing, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Why had Ranma been acting and talking like some kind of weirdo? Was his dream trying to tell him something? Finally he just put it down to the spicy pickles that he'd consumed before bedtime. "As if a guy could really become a girl over something as ludicrous as cold water" he said dismissively, punched his pillow and then rolled over and drifted back to sleep.


End file.
